It was an ordinary morning at Fryberg Beach when I made an unexpected, albeit artistic, acquisition—a massive 4.5-metre pine branch that had washed ashore. Now, most people would simply admire the craftsmanship of nature, perhaps pondering its beauty as driftwood. But no, I had other plans. To me, it was destined to be a flagpole—a grand, slightly impractical flagpole, mind you.

With no better way to transport this towering piece of timber, I decided to stow it in my trusty (though modestly sized) Naughty car. At 2.4 metres long, the car is hardly built for transporting oversized beach finds. Yet, as any seasoned beachgoer knows, when you find something spectacular, you make do. So, the 4.5-metre stick, a beautiful piece of seaside art, stuck out the front of the car like some unholy extension of my personality.

As I drove towards town, pleased with my creative reimagining of driftwood, I was unaware that my newly acquired “flagpole” would soon land me in a rather sticky situation. I pulled up at a police checkpoint, unaware that I was about to become the subject of a very different kind of inspection. With the stick jutting out from the front of my car, it must have looked like I was auditioning for a role in a medieval joust, rather than simply trying to get home with my beach treasure.

The officers, no doubt perplexed by the sight of a vehicle with a pole extending several feet beyond the front bumper, quickly sprang into action. One can only imagine the questions running through their minds—”Is this some sort of new traffic safety feature? An avant-garde protest against parking tickets?” But no, it was simply a piece of wood, a symbol of my seaside creativity and, unfortunately, poor judgement in vehicular design.

Thankfully, the situation didn’t escalate beyond a few bemused glances and the customary “papers please” routine. There were no accusations of drink-driving, no police chase (though I can’t imagine they would have appreciated me trying to outrun them with a flagpole in tow). As for me, I was just trying to get my art home, albeit with a slight, er, logistical oversight.

In the end, I was allowed to continue on my way, though the officers did issue a friendly reminder to keep an eye on my “extensive” car accessories. The rest, as they say, is history. As I drove away, I couldn’t help but chuckle. After all, it wasn’t every day you nearly joust with the police while trying to transport a beach pine branch.

So, next time you find yourself at Fryberg Beach with a piece of driftwood in hand, consider this a cautionary tale: No one was hurt, but sometimes, it’s better to leave the flagpoles on the beach… or at least measure your car first.

Keep your eyes peeled for pixels of the “flagpole,” and remember—sometimes the road less travelled might just include a 4.5-metre stick.